Where do Babies Come From? (Draft 2)

Where do Babies Come From?

: And Other Blood Chilling Questions.

This is the story of my best friend that ever lived. My best friend died saving my life, and lives on in another form protecting me from other certain dooms that seek to snuff out my life like a dying candle drowning in its own wax. I met my friend, a truly fabulous individual, when I was very young. I can’t remember the first time we met, but I smile every time I think about the time we have had together.

This story has nothing to do with me.

My Best Friend Came From:

“I came from a small place. It was very cramped and I barely had what I needed to grow. I was outside when I was very little, completely exposed to the elements. I was unsure if I would survive, but I wanted to and worked very hard at it. Survival was my reason for being. I lived in the dirt, hollowing out places to lay down when I could but laying on plain rock when I couldn’t. I was too little to be safe around fire, and could never run fast enough to escape a wild fire so I never risked getting burned. Healing would have been difficult without running water. I always heated myself in the sun every time I could, and fought for shade when it was hot enough to whither me up like a dead lizard. I had to wait for rain if I wanted a shower, and when I wasn’t near a stream I would dig for water to drink. I would breathe deeply and stay relaxed no matter what crossed my way. I had a dog pee on me once or twice, and if I hadn’t stayed relaxed or breathed deeply I might have shriveled in on myself like a dying mushroom. Stress has a way of tearing me down to my roots, and being still very little a dog can do a lot of damage. I worked hard to stay alive, taking what I could get, making food out of it, and even sharing with anyone or thing that came along hungry. I grew fast, because I worked very hard to make my own food out of nothing. When you come into a world without rules, anything is possible.”

My Friends Strengths

“Once I was big enough to be influential, I began building things and being noticed. Nobody notices the little guy, but when you start making things they want… well some people don’t ask they just take. There are some wonderful people out there who helped give me what I needed to build, and never took the last of my things, so I would always have one of everything I made. Sometimes I would just get rid of everything though, so I could start over new. I started small, making art. I made the most beautiful things… If Rembrandt could see me now! Sometimes I would use just one color, solid and without form, but when the light hit it…

Sometimes I would use so many colors, that I could make a rainbow jealous. Some people really like when I use every shade of one color. It is truly beautiful.

My art eventually got big enough, that it became homes. Bird houses, squirrel homes, and eventually homes for people and even skyscrapers. I was very popular for a long time. I still am in some circles. There are so many people that have copied my designs, that very few know I was the inspiration. My designs have become common place. Everyone has seen or used my designs, even in lost tribes of the Amazon or Africa.

…..

It was all for my survival.

……”

My Friends Death

I was minding my business one day in early spring, when I was brutally attacked. There were so many blades I didn’t see them coming. It was an absolute frenzy. There were people and animals alike, all tearing down everything I had worked all my life to build. Teeth and blades ripped my flesh apart in various excruciating manners. I could not run. There was no place safe, and I was surrounded. While much of my flesh and skeleton lay scattered on the ground ‘mulch,’ some of my flesh was eaten! I was torn to bits scattered to the winds and harvested for food! Nobody thought twice.

I had done nothing to any of them, except in eating me I tried with earnest to give them a belly ache and make them think twice about eating my family.”

My Friend’s Food

My friend is a producer, a maker of some of the most excellent and exotic foods ever made. A lot of them are toxic to eat, but some eat them anyway. Many foods my friend makes are very common at the markets across the world. My friend is very well traveled. My friend always works sun up to sun down and sometimes through the night to make the most delectable food, nobody can survive without it!

My friend is the only one who makes it, and is murdered for it.

My friend is a plant, not just one but every plant is my friend.

Plants are unique. They photosynthesize. They take our dirty nasty breath and emissions and various waste gasses, and turn them into oxygen and food. It sounds simple, but it’s not. It is the full effort of every plant to photosynthesize. Without photosynthesis there would be no food. It is the beginning and end all of food.

And Here Is The Recipe.